eStrategies Newsletter
Volume 1, edition 3 - September 2007
Be a kid again and learn with confidence
Welcome to eStrategies- September Edition!
As part of what I do, I have the great pleasure of mentoring new life coaching students as they practice their skills and I help them improve and grow, not only in skill but in confidence too. I love it!
Still, one curious thing has come to light through all the mentoring I have done. The newer the student is, the more pressure they put on themselves to be the best coach that ever was RIGHT NOW!
It appears to me that something happens when we become adults, that everything new we are learning we have to do well straight away, and we don't allow ourselves the opportunity to learn, to grow and to absorb.
I'd like to pinpoint the exact moment were we change from being kids, ready to ask a million questions and grow, to adults where we have to perfect at everything straight away, and if we aren't perfect we beat ourselves up for it.
This month, I challenge you all, if you are learning something new or improving a skill to ask more questions and enjoy learning. Be a kid again and learn with confidence. It may just be more fun!
Kind regards
Belinda Corcoran
Director/Personal and Executive Coach
3 Keys Motivational Success
One of my favourite cartoons from when I was young is of a lazy and fat Garfield sprawled and motionless in his favourite chair, watching TV and proclaiming "My get up and go just got up and went."
So, how do you find your motivation again, after it has got up and gone?
Key 1: Practice the emotion of motivation as often as possible
The first key, which in my experience is essential, lies in realising that motivation is an emotion, just like happiness, sadness or confidence.
Like any emotion, the more you feel it on a consistent and regular basis, the more you strengthen the emotion and are able to access it more readily. If you have not felt motivated in a long time, you may just need practice. So, let's do that now.
Think of something that you really want to do or achieve and make it as specific as possible. Include what date you will have it completed by, who will support you and what you need to believe about yourself to achieve your goal.
Now, imagine yourself achieving your goal. As you see yourself crossing that finish line, hear what people are telling you and what you are telling yourself, feel the great emotions of accomplishment and on the count of three as you take a deep breath, breathe in all those great feelings of happiness and success, stand up quickly, throw your fist in the air and scream ‘Yes!' as loud as you can.
Ready?
Onnnnneeeeeeeee (really see yourself being successful)
Twwwwwwwooooo (now hear all the great things people are telling you)
Get ready now (breath in those great feelings of joy and happiness
Threeeeeeeeeeeee (stand up, throw your fist up and scream at the top of your lungs)
"YES!"
Excellent! Starting to feel motivated yet? Remember to practice feeling motivated as often as you can.
Key 2: Know what motivates you
The second key to motivation comes down to how well you know yourself. Stop looking behind the couch cushions for it and ask yourself "What motivates me?" "How has motivation shown up in my life previously?"
There are so many different ways that people choose motivation. Some people respond to setting themselves a personal challenge and having a belief that they always reach their goals. Some people will be motivated by others telling them that they could never achieve their goal.
If you struggle to choose motivation, commit right now to making a list for yourself to work out what motivates you. I have two lists.
One list is all the things that motivate me that are self-initiated, that is, I do not need anyone else to implement these things in my life. These include things like setting rewards for myself on completion of the task, remembering things in the past that I have accomplished and how good that felt or listening to a great song or watching a great movie that gets me in great frame of mind.
The second list is the things that motivate me which may require a small cameo role by someone else. For example, these might include someone telling me I am good at something or some praise or gift of appreciation that I receive from a client. It might also include calling someone from my network of support that I have identified for myself so that I can talk through my goal with them (so someone else is getting excited with me about my goals too!)
While I cannot control the motivational factors in my second list, I know that I can certainly influence that by letting people know how much their words/praise/gifts/support mean to me and by giving the same in return.
To create your lists, think about a time in your life that you were totally motivated - and make it as specific as possible. What did you see, hear and feel? What did you belief in that moment, what did you value, what was your attitude?
Keep going until you have at least 5, no let's make that 10 specific ways to get motivated and it is best to have as many self-initiated motivations as possible.
Key 3: Know your reasons for doing something
The third key to motivation is to give yourself a good reason to reclaim your get up and go by working out why you really want to achieve your goal. This is the most important key. Without a good reason why you want to do something, you will never achieve your goals and any short lived enthusiasm will quickly fizzle.
So, if you are struggling to clean your house, ask yourself, what will I get out of cleaning the house that is greater than doing nothing? Maybe you like being house proud and living in clean environment, maybe you will shock someone who thinks you are messy or what about so your child doesn't get asthma attacks?
It is only when you have a big enough reason why you want to complete your task that you will find the motivation that already exists within you to accomplish anything you want to accomplish.
Can you remember a time in your life where you wanted something so much that no-one could stop you? Maybe you didn't even know how you were going to achieve it. It didn't matter! You knew what you wanted and you went after it, you had a clear purpose and you had a BIG reason why you wanted it.
Take the time to work out your reason and you will have all you need to drive you forward.
So, remember, motivation is as simple as 1-2-3. If you follow these simple little keys you'll be unstoppable! Good Luck!!
This article was written by Belinda Corcoran the Director and Principal Coach of Strategies Coaching Group, a boutique coaching and consultancy in Balmain, Sydney.
5 quick ways to Greater Confidence
People respond to people who are sure of themselves and have total certainty. If you would love to walk around oozing self-belief try these simple things to kick start you to success.
1. Act as if you are confident
If you don't have it, fake it! It sounds a bit strange, but it works. If you act is if you are confident until it is true then true confidence won't be far behind. Think of how you would hold yourself, talk and act if you had total certainty and do it now.
2. Reminisce
If you are about to give a speech or conduct a meeting and you need to feel confident now, think of a time where you had total certainty and believed in your abilities. Think of a specific time. As you go back to that time now, see, hear and feel everything you were experiencing. Breathe in all the great emotions and come back to now feeling great.
3. Do something you do well
If you are really struggling to regain your confidence, do something that you are really good at and really bathe in the feelings of being confident. The more often you practice an emotion, the easier it will be to feel confident at other times of your life.
4. Change what you say to yourself
If every time you make a mistake you slump your body and call yourself stupid, you undoubtedly won't be feeling confident. Change what you say to yourself: replace ‘I'm no good' with ‘there is no failure only feedback about what works and what doesn't', or whatever works for you. It may take some practice, but stick with it, the benefits will be enormous.
5. Get more experience
When you are just starting out with something you may lack some confidence in your abilities, which is pretty normal. Challenge yourself to get as much experience as possible in the shortest amount of time and watch your skills and confidence grow!
Ask Belinda...?
Question:
I like my job in Human Resources but it I no longer feel that I am being challenged and my boss says there doesn't really seem to be anywhere for me to go without getting qualifications. I already have a degree and am not interested in doing another one at this stage of my life. What can I do to challenge myself more or move up the ladder?
Answer:
I respect your honesty and your decision to know that doing a degree is not right for you.
In my experience it is not unusual to for people to feel limited because they do not have qualifications in a particular area. The truth is, there are many examples of people rising the corporate ladder and being really successful without so called qualifications. The trick here is to be able to sell yourself to your employer based on what you do have and not focus on what you lack. Obviously your employer valued you enough to put you in your current position.
Talk to your boss about giving you extra challenges or develop your own proposal for your boss to consider, and remember—don’t take no for an answer. Successful people are persistent. Just be sure to back up your ideas with reasons about why it is good for you and the company.
Short of that, it’s an employees’ paradise out there – why not apply for a new job where they respect your experience, not a bit of paper, and who are willing to support your career development. This will provide you with new challenges and help to move you up the ladder at the same time.
Also consider getting a mentor or talking to other HR professionals about what options you have for your future based on your current qualifications and experience.
I wish you well.
Are you ready for a coach?
Sick of jumping through hoops? Feeling totally fed up? If you are interested in finding out more about working one-on-one with a Strategies Coaching Group Life, Executive or Business Coach - please contact us to discuss your requirements.